When I was eighteen, I met a very special boy and, for the purpose of this story, we’re going to call him Topaz. We were introduced by mutual friends and clicked instantly. I had never met someone who had made me laugh so much and we were inseparable for a very long time.
Topaz and I have been friends for nearly seven years. I have literally grown up with him. He knows more about me and my past than probably anyone else. He has seen me at my best and my absolute worst. He has been there and helped me, leant me money and bought me drinks and dinners when I had no money and vice versa (it’s fair to say I supported his weekly alcohol and cigarette habit at one point when he was earning a pittance working at Red Rooster), he gave the speech at my 21st and so on. He has always been a huge part of my life.
Looking back now, I cherish the times we’ve had together and I will always love him to bits but our friendship was based mainly on drugs, alcohol and clubbing. Yes, these things were the main part of my life at the time. I was a self-confessed party animal who lived for the weekend. I still do but I have calmed down drastically.
I am someone who believes that a friendship requires the same amount of work as a relationship – if not more. And I don’t know if we would even still be friends today if it wasn’t for me being such a sook or for the fact that I hate seeing friendships I’ve invested so much time, love and effort in, be flushed down the drain.
I think he only realised how much the friendship meant to him when he felt threatened that he was going to lose me. For years, it was all about the two of us – except for the times he would ditch me to hang out with different people. I had no issue with this but don’t avoid me for months on end and then come running back when everyone else hates you.
So when I started becoming friends with lots of other gay guys, I think he felt threatened and I’ve never heard so many verbal emotions spill from his mouth.
And therein lies my point. Why is it that sometimes we are only ever thankful for people when they drift away or we have already lost them?
I am quite an emotional person and I am a big softie for my friends. I believe it’s important to let people know how much they mean to us. Send them a message telling them you love them, offer little gestures to show how much you care, be there for them when they need someone to talk to or a shoulder to cry on, listen to them and offer advice if asked, let your friend who lives interstate or overseas know how much you love and miss them, be generous with your love and lay it all on the table.
Let your love come from a special and wholesome place – your heart. Not a place of negativity and insecurity.